Why you should make a dateme

When I first published my dateme I had no idea how it would be received. I generally think being polarizing to a certain degree is useful¹ but I was worried this would seem too weird or needy or something.

What actually happened surprised me! I shared on Twitter and got 20k impressions and almost 1200 link clicks. I asked friends to share and have been and continue to be set up on dates with friends of friends. I also added a link to this at the top of all my dating profiles which has received an overwhelmingly positive response, far exceeding what I’ve come to expect from the standard dating app experience.

I have more to say on this, but I think there are two key things which have made this all a much more positive experience than expected:

• Dateme’s make matchmaking much easier for your friends to do for you (and matchmaking is really one of the best way’s to meet a romantic partner)

• Getting all of the dealbreakers out of the way quickly + painting a deeper picture of yourself from the very get go means that their is a much stronger selection filter for a first date than is usual on a dating app. In practice this has felt like their is a much deeper level of “choosing each other” on first dates than I normally feel which feels like great energy!

Some responses I’ve received

Below is just a small fraction of the first messages I’ve gotten on dating apps in response to my dateme. I’ve kept it to the ones far on the shorter end of the spectrum to preserve privacy, but I have received some truly beautiful messages from some amazing people.

Hi- happy Sunday. i loved your site. I would ask you for help making one but I think id just rather get to know you.

Loved the external about me, especially since you linked to a Goodreads account haha. We tend to overlap on some classic fiction (Steinbeck, Vonnegut, Huxley) and I absolutely adore Good Omens

To say I’m intrigued does not come close.. this one-pager is brilliant and now I’m skidding into reading all of your posts so I’m peeling myself away hoping I don’t start quoting you to you. But hi!!

okay the website is pretty intense but i respect a fellow nerd who knows where the word grok came from

I just read your profile lol the fact that u made a dating profile page kills me but I love it 😂😂 I think we’d get along

Okay ur website is very cool! lol Respect that immensely

I’m very intrigued by this website decision!

Also - I read the bit about dating on your website. It’s amazing and honest and really attractive. I’d be interested in telling you why in person, rather than via texting (perhaps the most inferior communication method!)

Ok wow you’re adorable! Just checked out your website, was smiling the whole time. Love that you’re into plant based, outdoors, and chillin, books, and fam!

Your Goodreads page is hot

[this is my personal fav]

Hey Armand! Your dateme page is awesome haha love all that you listed and how you laid it all out there. I identify with a lot of what you said, especially love for the outdoors/being active :) I’m curious though, I saw you’re atheist but also spiritual, what’s that look like for you? I have a strong Christian faith and that’s a big part of who I am so figured I’d just be upfront about it 🙃

Your website is very cute by the way, lots of useful information!

Armand, what a beautifully composed profile! I appreciate your candor, wit, and introspectiveness - and your writing throughout your site is incredibly vivid and engaging.

I love the write ups, it’s well written! I love how upfront it is.. that’s one thing I don’t find in hetro monogamous dating apps as much. I read your dateme doc and to save your time, I don’t think I’m your perfect partner 🙃 but keep being honest and straight forward, you’re clearly very accomplished in life and you’ll go even farther in your relationships Armand with this attitude :)

I’m obsessed with your date me site! so smart

Armand, your dateme page put a big smile on my face, I loved it! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

Okay your touch point page was 10/10. You seem incredibly interesting! What’s the most recent thing you learned Armand?

1. Is there a name for this? When you cut down addressable market but do so in a way that generates more total demand because the people who are left are more likely to be?